run the redlights.

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.
- The Carpenters

siew leng adviced me just now.

just treat him as a friend..
dun think so much..
hmmm.. quite true.
she saes in the end im gonna end up hurtin myself real bad.
sigh.
i'll heed ur advice..
thnks

hmmm..i think buddy looks great in his formal shirt.
hahas..quite shuai arhs..

okaes..well..
the dae wasnt exactly great todae
bt then i still managed to pass thru it.

ms__________ is one hell of a trouble lahs!
seriously.
i think she's just plain baised!
i almost quarrelled wif her in class.
irritatin can?!
i repeated so many tms
then she still sae she did not?
pls lahs.. u're a tcher..
shudnt u hv a betta memory than us?
unless u tell me u hv STM.
then i'll try to understand.
bt then again..
if u reallu hv STM..
i dun see y are u teachin.

im jus voicin my opinions.
im not mad at her lahs,
just tt im not satisfied wif her treatment to different gender students.
ya.. if she changes. then i'll jolly well keep my mouth shut.

then when i was alone in the mrt aft agnes left.
i mean alone wif naz,matt and brendon.
bren asked me if i was still haressed by tt guy.
then i told him..not really.
and he told me his gonna go disturb the hell out of the guy aft our o's!
its very bad lehs..
bt then i was feelin kinda.. kinda..
i dun noe..
just kinda touched?
tt he actually wanna "so-called protect" me?
hahas.
thnks friend =D
i appreciate tt.

let your heart out.

i think i noe wat i want.

i still want to stay tis way
till he comes back.
i mean he's still in my heart
and i noe he's gonna b ther for a long tm.
a long long tm.

yeps.
hmmm..
i noe tis may sounds stupid.
bt its just too hard for me to get him off my mind.

i mean it wun really do me any harm
jus waitin here rites?
so, why nots?
yea.

cos..
3FINGERS

yeps.
im confindent of myself.
im strong.
i can do it.
sonedae..
i think we can do it.
(:

let your heart out.

hmmm.
he msged ytd.
i dun noe frm which point of view i shud see his concern frm.
i noe i shud see it frm TT viewpoint

the one which will only tells me
im actually thinkin too much or readin too much between the lines

cos i noe he merely jus treats me as a friend.
or mayb not
i dun noe.
buddy tells me to not think so much
bt seriously,how is tt possible?

i mean..
i cant put wat i wanna sae into words.
______________________________________________________

TO: you noe who
u tell me u still read my blog everyday.
and im tryin very had to not think about the meanin.
im really tryin very hard.
i dun noe if i shud continue bloggin
bt then on the other hand,
i wanna let you noe wats goin on in my life.
even if it means
not hvin any response frm u.

bt im really glad tt u showed me ur concern
thnks for lettin me noe u're still around me.
tt u're still sumwher out ther

3fingers`

let your heart out.

jus shooot me dead can?
wq really has split personality!
i think he needs to see a doctor

i noe im at fault.
bt i've already let him insult all he can
i even apologised!
he really drives me crazy!!!

and im nt even his gf!
and he's treatin me like i am.
he keeps callin.
cant even avoid his calls

i've done all i can
i jus hopes he doesnt bothers me anymore

anyways.. thnks to the bunch of guys once again
especially brendon & zhiyao.
thnks thnks

let your heart out.

sigh.
really emo again..
todae agnes asked me wats the meanin of "3FINGERS".
at 1st i was shocked..
cos tis was only between the 2 of us ONLY.
then i realised, he too. put tt in his personal message sumtm ago
only tt i didnt hv the chance to see it.

oh god.i just viewed his profile.
our pictures arent ther any longer.
im really tempted to ask him tt question
"hv he ever regretted makin tt decision"

then agnes saes so wat even if he does?
wat is it tt i wan frm him?
a patch?
i really im loss for words
i dun even noe wat i wan frm him.
feel like givin myself a slap
so tt i can get backed to reality.

oh god. can sumone pls help me?

then thers wq.
i noe he's nice to me.
bt then again,
i dun wanna get into a relationship yets
not at tis tm
when i've just been made to get out of one.
one which i really dun wan to.
i dun wan to lead him on
like tellin him tt i mite choose him at the end of the dae
no,tis definately isnt wat i wan.
i tink all these are just too fast
fast till i cant catch up.
i need to take a breath
feels like i cant breathe no more.

im tired.

i promised to go out wif him on tis sat.
is tt a right decision i've made?
agnes's cumin along,
so i think its okaes.

if he was still by my side.
he definately wouldnt allow all tis.
im sure

bt then again.
im still lost in my own world rites?

thers just too many things tts tellin me to give up.
like when i losed my couple voodoo i gave him.
the handphone strap which i hangs our ring, snapped?
why in the world is god treatin me tis bloody, freakin way?
wat is it tt he wans frm me?
i really need sum answers again.
feel so helpless ONCE AGAIN

let your heart out.

okaes i noe..
todae's entry alil later than ususal
bt well. i was busy studyin kaes??
okaes lahs..u've got me
i was slackin as well. opps

gotta start buckin up for my humans and science
sigh.

uncle simon came over todae. ((:
and we had a feast!
yum.
and it was the 1st tm i tasted snail meat!
omg..
it taste weird lahs.
bt it was nice.
i only ate 2.
not too much.
hahas! jasper freaked out the moment i told him he's eatin snail!
whahahas. im evil.
no lahs..

i wanna go shoppin!
hmmm..wanna get a new watch.
not cos of THAT reason.
bt cos i really wanna gt a new one le.
thinkin of either gettin the BLUE 80s adidas watch or the RED one.
hmmm..
shall decide again. ((:
i shall b a happy gal if im able to get all on my new shoppin list!
sigh.
so little tm to shop lahs!
nvm

see ya!

let your heart out.

im so tired!
hahs. dead tired

well.i actually dreamt of him last nite.
shant go into elaboration.
cos it was a bad one.

i bought 2 tees and a pair of shorts
ahhhhhhhh~
my super punk lookin tee got stained by my mustard coloured shorts!!
*angry*

nvm..goin shoppin now
hahas.
see ya peeps later in the nite

let your heart out.

nvm! its all over..
cos im strong ((:
i can do it

tml will b a betta dae

let your heart out.

sigh.
ITS coming to get me again
yes.. damn emo..
bt i hard it with a smile.
i didnt want to spoil the mood of the members

i wanted to let him go gracefully le..
i wanted to do it with a smile.
bt then, y did he hv to put such a nick?

i almost broke down infront of the com ytd nite.
i didnt noe how to react lookin at his nick.
y did he hv to do tt?

then i wanted to call gerry up.
and my bloody fingers dialled his no.!
wtf.
i wanted to drown myself in tears the moment i heard his voice
bt i managed to covered it up.

bt backed to reality check.
he's no longer mine.
cos, remb?
i've long lost him to sumone else.

tell me wat to do.
tell me wat to sae.
i dun even noe how to face myself,
let alone facing u with a smile.

_______________________________________________

enough said.
todae's our National Band Competition(nbc)
and yes, we got a GOLD(85%)
the highest for the whole of 3rd division
damn happy.
we're invited backed next wk to play for them
the closin ceremony!

gerry and me were so excited can?
bt she more excited lahs
so early polished her marchin shoes

i only started polishin them ytd lahs.
last min as usual..

then we put on our titans uniform
and i looked like floatin in it..
hahas.

tts all.
see ya

let your heart out.

im a little backed to normal le.
really. aft our very last sms..
i really understand it all.
hmmmm.. to b happy.. i've got to learn to let go.
so tt we'll both b happy.

we promised to friends.
bt are we able to do so?
hmmm.. okok. im willin to try.
bt first, he got to try too rites?
nvm
hahas.

i was abit stoner lahs.
bt overall okok.
thnks matt!!
so sweet of him lahs.
cos he msged naz to make our trip hm an enjoyable one.
((:
im touched.

i've made up my mind.
i wanna smile for thos ppl who loves me
((: *grinns

thnks to all for comforted me
ppl like my besties.
gerry,charity, linlin, agnes and siew leng

the guys..
naz,brendon,brian,matt,pengteck,jack,yongkai,marc..

so many lahs.. if i missed out anyone else..
im sorry lahs..hahas
oh yahs! and jasmine. my cousin ((:

let your heart out.

You tell me you're in love with me
like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me
it's not that I don't wanna stay
but every time you come too close I move away
I wanna believe in everything that you say
'cause it sounds so good
but if you really want me, move slow
there's things about me you just have to know

sometimes I run
sometimes I hide
sometimes I'm scared of you
but all I really want is to hold you tight
treat you right,
be with you day and night
baby all I need is time

I'll just hang around and you'll see
there's nowhere I'd rather beif you love me, trust in me
the way that I trust in you

im contradictin myself.
helpless.
i still cant him off my mind

let your heart out.

looks like you've read my blog..
y do u even bothe to do so?
frm tis entry onwards..
u wudnt need to do so
cos i've decided to move on in life
like wat i've said in the very last sms.

" i'll move on well without hvin you i n my life..i dun need ur pity cos i noe sumdae all tis will b gone without a single trace in me.. "

so ppl.. if u ever wanna make big promises,
make sure u mean it.
dun end up hvin to lie to the person u love
and most importantly urself
cos u'll probably end up being the biggest loser ever.

bt for my case.. i felt like a complete loser too.
for i had being cryin myself to bed for 3 nites
let tis b the last nite ever.

hmmm..italy and france

BRENDON SOH!
tell u le.. italy will win and france will go hm and slp..
hahas.
im temptin u to buy italy..
hahas..

let your heart out.

its been 3 daes since it happened..
and i'm already tired of hvin to cry myself to bed.
wakin up with thos puffy eyes.

i dun wan to continue such routine any longer.
im jus simply tired of it.

i called him last nite.
i just had to do it
thers jus too many tink i dun understand about us
so many tinks i wanna tell him
bt he was listenin throughout the whole talk.
no, he did not sae anytink else.
the whole talk belongs to me only.

u told me u still tink of me
bt i tink u're just lying
if u wanna do tt shudnt u tink of a betta lie?
i tink u've let me see thru u.
the real u which i've hvent been able to see u for ard 9mths or so?
it again made me realised
u've been the selfish one.
everytink u did was jus for urself isnt it?
u only wanted urselff to feel good
then y did u hv to come to me?
was it only cos u needed love at the point of tm?
or do we call it desperate?
i really feel so helpless..
really helpless.

if u're really like wat they sae
then can i hv one last request?
i jus want to hear it frm urself.
tt u no longer hv the feelings u had for me 9mths ago
tt our love for 8ths is just crushed till no point of turnin back.
is betta than hearin tinks frm ppl
tinks which i so much do not want to hear

hearin it frm u
im sure i'll slowly give up on u
cos i've been locked out frm ur heart
it gives me a betta reason as to not do stupid tinks anymore

wun u just let me move on with my life?
altho i dun wan to.
cos i noe u're still in my heart; my mind

bt i noe frm the point of tm.
its all over.

let your heart out.

yes..i hate myself for tis..i fell too deeply in love.. its jus so hard to get out of it.. i wanted to drown myself by doin loads of stuff.. tis way i wud b able to get him out of my life rites?bt then.. it seems like once i've nth to do..all i can tink of is him..i really want him back.. real bad.

i went to his hse jus now. i noe i shudnt hv.. wat was i tinkin?hopin he'll cum aft me?and then i'll break down??wth.. i shudnt even habour thos tots.. even the reply i got frm me hurt me real bad..y mus tinks end up tis way?i so much want it not to happen,bt it still did..

to: you know who

thers so much tinks i wanna tell u
everytink tts happenin to me.
bt you've locked me totally out of ur heart.

let your heart out.

at first i tot i've found you.
then i realised 8mths isnt a very big deal
it jus comes and goes as it please rites?
who is in any position to sae anytink?
it jus dun make much sense to me.
till now im still lyin to myself..
im still doin it so.
cos i've lost you.
the one i wanted to spent my life with..
the one i wanted so badly.

im really not in the mood to blog.

let your heart out.

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